When I was growing out of my wild teenage years and starting to make better decisions, I would ask myself “would I want my grandparents to know I did this?” If the answer was “no” I’d move on. I always thought it was awful that my parents weren’t my yardstick of behavior, and wondered how my grandparents had taken that role, if only in my mind. This article clearly explains this phenomenon and makes me ever more grateful to my grandparents. And to my parents who are wonderful to my kids.
Wow, this was one of the most surreal articles I’ve ever read. I’ve never experienced love from a grandparent. One cut ties with my family well before I was born, one didn’t speak English and was senile, and the other two just never talked to me. I spent time at their house and everything, but they just ignored me. Children were meant to be seen, not heard. That was the attitude they had to their children and grandchildren. No gifts, no candies, no teaching, and bad cooking.
I’m trying to involve my parents in my child’s life, but it’s really hard to figure out how, when grandparents had no role for me growing up. This article helped me think about what the role of grandparents should be, even if I never experienced it, so thank you.
You are not the first I've heard this kind of response from. As it's outside my own experience, I'm willing to acknowledge that blind spot. This probably needs an addendum exploring grandparent roles more directly.
Really wanting some cycles to be broken for my kids, and reading this made me feel a little better. Not "off the hook," but maybe like my kids will probably turn out okay.
When I was growing out of my wild teenage years and starting to make better decisions, I would ask myself “would I want my grandparents to know I did this?” If the answer was “no” I’d move on. I always thought it was awful that my parents weren’t my yardstick of behavior, and wondered how my grandparents had taken that role, if only in my mind. This article clearly explains this phenomenon and makes me ever more grateful to my grandparents. And to my parents who are wonderful to my kids.
Wow, this was one of the most surreal articles I’ve ever read. I’ve never experienced love from a grandparent. One cut ties with my family well before I was born, one didn’t speak English and was senile, and the other two just never talked to me. I spent time at their house and everything, but they just ignored me. Children were meant to be seen, not heard. That was the attitude they had to their children and grandchildren. No gifts, no candies, no teaching, and bad cooking.
I’m trying to involve my parents in my child’s life, but it’s really hard to figure out how, when grandparents had no role for me growing up. This article helped me think about what the role of grandparents should be, even if I never experienced it, so thank you.
You are not the first I've heard this kind of response from. As it's outside my own experience, I'm willing to acknowledge that blind spot. This probably needs an addendum exploring grandparent roles more directly.
Really wanting some cycles to be broken for my kids, and reading this made me feel a little better. Not "off the hook," but maybe like my kids will probably turn out okay.
Wonderful perspective ❤️
Thank you, and very well written.