The Equalizer 3

It’s … a part 3

The Equalizer 3 (2023)

2 / 5

By the time 99.9% of movie franchises get to part 3, the best you’re going to get is “it’s okay.” There have been some outstanding part 2s (looking at you, Godfather 2, Toy Story 2, and Top Gun: Maverick), but even the biggest part 3s (looking at you, Return of the Jedi and Last Crusade) have so much weight to carry, and so much previous greatness to get out of the shadow of, that the best they can be is just okay. Sadly, The Equalizer 3 isn’t even close to a big part 3, and just can’t get it done. 

It’s trying, for sure. All the pieces are here. Antoine Fuqua is still directing, Denzel Washington is still a for-real movie star (even pushing 70 years old) with a fiercely magnetic presence, and his reunion here with Dakota Fanning (remember Man on Fire?) is admittedly cool if you’re a movie nerd. But having the pieces isn’t enough; the pieces need to move around, to dance the waltz of plot points and dramatic arcs that movies are supposed to have. That dance here is really stilted and off pitch, which casts a sinister shadow over a lot of what the franchise has tried to do with this reboot version of television’s Robert McCall. 

In fact, it’s so out of tune that it’s singing a completely different song. This isn’t really a modern action thriller at all. It’s a whisper away from being an exploitation slasher movie, where irredeemably greasy Italian mafiosi accidentally awaken a small town’s slumbering boogeyman who proceeds to relentlessly, inescapably, gruesomely pick them off one by one. I would say all the Robert McCall character needs to completely make that jump is the usual slasher stuff like signature gear and moves, but the movie actually gives him that. He sets his watch to time his attacks and folds his cafe napkins just so. He can teleport from room to room, moving effortlessly through complexes he’s never seen before. He cannot be reasoned with or slowed. He’s not a retired assassin trying to find peace in a Sicilian village; he’s a chthonic spirit of vengeance who is crossed by arrogant sinners, who get what they deserve. If you’re a movie nerd, there might be a conversation to be had about the kind of genre-bending going on here (and whether it’s intentional or not). But as a Friday-night popcorn flick … meh. 

2 stars of 5: It has its moments, and Washington remains great, but it doesn’t approach the bar set by the other two.