Carry-On (2024)
2 stars/5
Regarding this movie, inside me there are two wolves. The first wolf loves a heist thriller, its twists and turns interlocking just so in a puzzle for the audience to try and work out just as the movie shows the solution. I will watch a heist movie even if it's not very good, I love the genre so. The second wolf hates the TSA, its very existence a monumental affront to basic human rights, constitutional order, and anything resembling efficiency. I loathe the TSA with every fiber of my being, and would shed no tears (indeed, would purposefully not notice) if it evaporated tomorrow. That makes this movie a challenge to review, because the hero is a going-nowhere TSA agent who becomes embroiled in a criminal mastermind’s clockwork-precision plot to … get a bag onto an airplane.
To its credit, Carry-On seems to quietly share my view of the TSA. I can’t fault the movie for depicting the TSA as a government jobs program for people who “washed out” of everything else. Carry-On’s TSA is a terribly stupid place to work, filled with employees who quietly know they’re useless, highlighting their Christmas eve shift with internal bingo cards featuring “contraband” like sex toys in people’s luggage. Any attempt to pretend the TSA’s existence is good or important is ultimately undercut by the fact that the hero, after amazing his peers by showing action hero initiative and (spoilers) foiling the plot, is rewarded by being allowed to leave the TSA. He joins the LAPD, so your mileage may vary on that, but still.
As for the plot itself, it starts strong, with Jason Bateman reaching back to Ozark to find just the right sociopath-obviously-pretending-to-be-friendly tone for his threats of violence. As it progresses, however, the wheels come off. It’s a hard enough sell to present a TSA employee doing anything useful. It’s worsened by some absolutely wild choices (LAX has secure areas, y’all–don’t run into the parking garage to escape an assassin). By the end, suspension of disbelief becomes impossible.
2 stars of 5: Your position on the TSA will absolutely affect your enjoyment of this movie.