Why not the top 10? Because everybody argues about it. What should be there, what doesn’t deserve it, why #6 should be #1, and on and on. Taste is a funny thing, and arguing about trivia on the internet is pointless. So to make this easier for everyone here’s nine instead, in no particular order. You decide which one I’ve missed, put them in whatever order you feel is right for you, and debate with your co-workers at the water cooler.
-LD
It’s that time of year. The time we all weigh our lives (or ourselves) and find things … wanting. So we decide we’re going to make a huge change. It lasts two weeks if we’re lucky before the new kettlebell just slides into the corner to collect dust, or the organo-healthy quinoa-tofu “bread” gets unceremoniously binned. It’s all just depressing, and you dread this season not because resolutions are bad, but because deep down you know they (and you) are going to fail to “work out” this year just the same as last year.
It doesn’t have to be this way, but a lot of us are stymied by the evasive nature of resolution success. I submit to you that most resolutions fail because you make them all about you. If you only have to answer to you for whatever it is you’re doing, it’s easy to cut yourself a little too much slack, hit pause a little too fast, and give yourself “permission” to fail one more time.
Like many substacks and lifestyle blogs and zines this season, I’m going to offer you some ideas here for resolutions you can make that take you outside yourself a little bit. They connect you with other people, and by extension can make you a better person yourself. Let’s get into why with a list of nine possibilities. As stated above, my “9 greats” are in no particular order. Different ones will jump out at different people for different reasons, and that’s fine. You do you. Just do something.
Donate blood
Everybody likes to think blood donation just happens somehow. But blood is something that can’t be synthetically duplicated. This has to be gotten from the source: individual people, a little bit at a time. It’s kind of like honey that way. Starting regular blood donations (you can give a single unit of whole blood every 56 days) makes you part of the lifesaving hive that is the blood bank. They also do some basic biometric checks at every donation (blood pressure, sugar, iron, etc.). It’s a low-key way to monitor those numbers, and gives you an “accountable to others” reason to make healthier choices for yourself (I’m not managing my blood pressure just for me, it’s so I can give blood that may save a kid’s life). You have a local blood bank network somewhere in your community that’s just a websearch away. Find it and start giving.
Buy a gun
This may feel like the opposite of giving blood, but it’s more connected than you might think. Regardless of how you feel about guns and gun ownership specifically, I think we can all agree that owning a firearm is an acceptance of a special kind of responsibility toward others. You already have lethal tools and devices in your life that you treat responsibly (a 1500-pound car, a kitchen full of knives, a toolbox). Buying a gun extends that responsibility in a way that will broaden your outlook toward your community. It will also put you in contact with gun shops, gun laws, and other gun owners, all of which may be things you find revelatory. It’s worth the money.
Pray
The world we live in is one that demands too much attention be paid to too many stupid things; you need to take a regular break from that. You need to take a minute each day and touch something beyond your immediate perception. If you’re in the “I’m spiritual but not religious” camp, then replace this with meditation, daily reflection, kata, or maybe even journaling. If you have a faith tradition, get (or commit to stay in) the habit of daily prayer. Either way, you’re taking a moment each day to look beyond yourself and consider your place in the grand cosmic thing we call life. That will center you and help you discipline your attention for the rest of every day. It’s totally free and you don’t have to go anywhere but your knees.
Start using the calendar app you already have
I was chatting with a friend a while back, and she asked what kind of productivity software I use for to-do lists and stuff. I told her I just line tasks up on the calendar on my phone. Oh, how the productivity app people put on the sales blitz at the new year. There are numberless clever (and not so clever) products on the market that promise Benjamin Franklin levels of productivity if only you buy their thing (the Franklin planner people aren’t even being subtle about it). It’s mostly nonsense. You have a calendar app that came with your phone. Just use it. It’s already set up to remind you of stuff. Just use it. Just use it. Just use it.
Attend a civic meeting
This doesn’t cost anything but time, but will pay dividends in the way it connects you to your community. You have a City Council or School Board that somebody needs to be paying attention to. You need to be one of those somebodies. Much like buying a gun, this is something that will increase the sense of responsibility you feel toward your neighbors, and recognizing and respecting your neighbors (especially if they’re different from you) is the only way the future is ever going to not involve violence. Learn what’s going on in your community. Start paying some attention to your local government.
Meet your neighbors
Speaking of your neighbors, be honest: do you even know their names? It’s time to learn. The New Year gives you a great excuse. Make some cookies and go meet (or re-meet) your neighbors. If you meet enough of them, get really ambitious and organize a meet-and-greet block party (or house party if you live in a place where it’s freezing outside). Not knowing your neighbors is a result of our online age, but it can be corrected. All it takes is a plate of cookies and a smile.
Read your local newspaper
Local journalism is on life support, and you need to be a regular visitor to its hospital room. Subscribing to your local paper will feel way more expensive than it needs to be, but it’s worth it both for you and for your local journalists. The big newspapers are fighting hard for dollars online, and in so doing create a fogbank where your local paper doesn’t even get noticed. But even the smallest papers have digital editions anymore (some are digital only, even). Start noticing them. Beyond things like reports on civic meetings (see above), your local paper undoubtedly publishes all the individual goings-on of community events, local charities, youth groups, school sports, church activities, and more. Local newspapers can connect you to your community in a valuable way. Get connected.
“Adopt” a person in need and help them
There is a ton of moaning going on right now about who will “take care” of folks in need. It’s time for you to be part of that “who.” Look around among your family, or at church, or at work, or among your neighbors, or wherever. Be honest with yourself: you can find somebody who needs a helpful friend. Be that friend. Maybe there’s a family that needs help with school supplies (or tutoring, or babysitting). Maybe a retiree or disabled vet needs rides to the doctor (or the grocery store, or the welfare office). Maybe a co-worker just needs somebody to have lunch with once in a while. Identify someone who needs help, and then go help, and then keep helping going forward. No one person can help everybody. But if every person found another person to help, and voluntarily (and persistently) helped that person, many of the problems in our communities would ease, and potentially disappear.
Check your voter registration
I talked to a couple in the last election that were concerned that they hadn’t gotten any of the usual election information the local registrar sends out every time. I encouraged them to check their registration, and they found that they had paused their election mail a couple of years ago when they went on an extended vacation, and had forgotten to restart it. The bureaucracy around voting is in the news lately, and not in a good way. Regardless of how you feel about hot-button topics like voting machines, mail-in ballots, and election misinformation, it’s a good idea to periodically find the voter registration portal for your state government, double-check that your registration is okay, and remind yourself of how voting in your area even happens. It’s easy for some box to get clicked that “accidentally” messes with your ability to cast an informed vote (or any vote at all). This information is accessible online. Go give it a look and make sure you’re all set.